Exhausted, but bored

Hello everyone,

I just put in a facebook entry that talks about how I am exhausted, yet bored. And I decided it was a good title for this entry. I am finally making a new entry, after having worked on three projects. I directed An Enemy of the People for the Brigit Saint Brigit Theatre. Then I Stage Managed Aksarben (Nebraska-ites understand this one). And today, I finished my duties in Stage Managing for Opera Omaha. The latter (sp?) two were short gigs, but still no less intense than the long term projects.

So here I am now, no weekend left on this Sunday evening; exhausted, projects done, chores done for today, ready to fall asleep; and yet feeling odd to just sit for a few minutes.

I really need to enjoy this, as the caravan will kick in soon. But it’s still weird. And I really need to rest up for the caravan. I haven’t had a dr. appt. in a while; I’ll get one scheduled for early December, after caravan leaves. But I’m not so sure my breathing tests would fair too well if I did them today. All the more reason to rest.

I don’t think I am ever going to figure this out, though…this sitting thing….I finished the opera six hours ago and already aching for the next project…. but for those who’ve been wanting an update…on the health thing…yes, things are “different” for the last six months. You’d still never know it looking at me. But walking point A to point B wears me out. I don’t show anyone of course.

I’ve also been doing my tube feedings seven nights a week. Something else going on the last few months. I can’t keep my weight on unless I do.

So, it’s just been more “reality”; along with doing the projects and the things I wanna do….this disease is still going to do it’s thing. It doesn’t need to make a huge statement with a big infection and another long hospitalization; just subtle things; like being out of breath going up the stairs; like not being able to make it beyond six hours without feeling like I need a breathing treatment; like doing one of those treatments in the car while going to these gigs (I’m sure that’s a sight to see from the neighboring cars in traffic!)

Whatever it takes, I guess….whatever it takes.

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