2011 will forever be one of the most significant years of my life. As I ponder all that has transpired over the last twelve months, I am brought to tears. What a mixture of sweet sorrow and unexplainable joy! I wasn’t sure if I was going to avoid a heart transplant from the heaviness I seemed to be carrying—at times the tension, stress, and worry seemed too much. Due to the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father, He lightened the burden and carried me when I was all but done.
The lessons are many…too many to recount in a short blog. But, I will say that the greatest overriding theme that God has continually put before me on this journey has to do with “timing.” I am learning that all things work perfectly in God’s divine timing. For He has the master “grandfather clock” and until it strikes the right hour to chime in His will, seconds and minutes continue to click by. But in that significant hour, when the stage is set for the Lord’s “hands” to provide for our specific needs, things will happen…even if it seems to be at the eleventh hour when we feel forgotten.
We can rest in God’s promise found in Hebrews 13:5 that He will never leave or forsake us. Even in my darkest moments when I could have been defeated by fear of the unknown and the scary road ahead, the Lord washed peace over me. He has taken me to a new level of trust…to a place that I never realized possible.
Even though I still wrestle with the Lord at times, I am learning more and more, day by day, to rest in what He has for me. This continues to be a stretch for my personality type, but I can admit that it is good to be taken out of your comfort zone. Dealing with Shafer’s illness has brought me to a new place in life. I now live with much less expectation. I’m not trying to achieve earthly rewards anymore. All the degrees and professional accomplishments have lost their luster. Now I’m wondering what “having it all” really means. I’m not so attracted to the power suit and overloaded schedule.
I have found a new normal in the daily pursuit of caring for my son and other four children. I have come to embrace domestic life and even enjoy the simple pleasure that I had forsaken of cooking meals and building towers with blocks.
Even though I must get back to helping my family financially, I will never forget what I’ve learned as a result of this memorable year. The media has lauded me a hero of sorts for giving Shafer life again through the gift of my kidney. And no doubt, this is a beautiful story. But the amazing paradox is that I’ve been the one healed through Shafer’s sickness! It has truly been a dual miracle of healing—his physical and mine spiritual and emotional. As I said before, it’s all about God’s timing in our lives. He knows exactly what it will take to bring about His will in our lives…
I don’t know what you are facing right now, but know that God is bigger than any problem or challenge that lies before you. Place your life—your entire life—down to the very last detail in His hands and watch Him do a work in you. Be patient and steadfast believing for a miracle and God will work it all for His good.
Blessings for a great 2012,