Yesterday was a really hard day. I woke up, it was going well, ready for the day, they came early to take my for treatment I got to kind of relax while she was setting up, and everything was just going “good”. 

Not sure who all knows and who doesn’t but I have a rare disorder/medical condition called “ATTP”. You can google it and see what it is fully but in short talk it is a very serious and rare blood clotting disorder and as of right now it’s not curable, and you can’t take it away. So it’s been giving me A LOT. OF. ISSUES. 

My central line clots way too often, I have to be careful cause they are giving me high doses of blood thinners. Like literally everything revolves around this unknown, very annoying blood disorder. So with that being said, I always ask for tons and tons of flushes in my tubes otherwise we lose them. So everyone knows that, they always bring 10x what norma people need, they flush and flush for a good 5 minutes just so my anxiety is okay, like everyone puts in an effort. So, downstairs, it had been a day and a half since we flushed my Perma-cath for treatment. So I always just try to stay calm and pray because Monday it did clot and we had to do some stuff and rewlly get the dumb clot out. So this time around we were setting up, talking, just normal getting ready. She pulls back some blood to make sure it’s still in a good spot and she said she could feel it was resisting a little, but nothing too serious. So she grabs the flush, (and it has to be a harsh flush, which means they have to push it in extremely fast) so she does the red tube and onto the blue tube. This time around when she flushed it I immediately blacked out, and then sat back up and gagged really loud.  We both just looked at each other and we were like “okay this is fine i’m still conscious, let’s keep going” so we’re talking, she’s starting the treatment and all of a sudden i just can’t speak to her anymore. I’m coughing really bad and my chest hurts more than i’ve ever imagined. I look at her and just wisper “barf bag, now” she grabs the bag and i’m shaking. my entire body is shaking uncontrollably, i can’t breathe, i’m trying to puke but nothing is coming up, i’m sweating, crying, choking, just everything you could think of that is bad? it’s happening. it’s getting really really bad to the point where i can’t breathe or talk anymore. They lay my bed completely upside down to prepare to have to intubate me. So I grab my phone and immediately call my dad for him to get here. Now. 

He jumps in his car, he’s the only one i told to get here but he has no idea what’s happening. At this point they’re calling over the loud speaker of the entire hospital “Possible code blue white 22 y/o female, all RT in floor 4 asap” as kept repeating over and over. I’m still sweating, nurse after nurse and doctor after doctor have now put new stickers on me, they’ve gotten all the other patients out of the way preparing for intubation. 

at this point i look over at my nurse while i’m upside down and she’s holding me so close and i ask “Pat, am I dying?” and she looks at me with tears in her eyes and goes “I hope not sweetie. I’m right here okay?” and I asked her what was happening and she said “I have no idea” So we just hug. she’s crying, I’m trying to puke but also breathe, i’m waiting for my dad who is running to come and then they start sedating me. They’re sedating me because they need to get me calmed down so they can x-ray and see where whatever it is that is causing this where it is now. So they’ve sedated me, (no intubation) and they’re doing all these tests, x-rays, so many things at once you wouldn’t even want to count. So now Greyson is here, dad is here, my favorite doctor is here and the about 12 other nurses/doctors.So, after ALL THAT. We found out that she had flushed a giant air bubble into my lung and my body was reacting as if i was having a pulmonary embolism which is absolutely extremely deadly and dangerous. No one’s fault excerpt for my stupid blood disorder. After all that they were going to move me up to pulmonary ICU to be watched for a cpuples days but I begged them to let me stay cause I know everyone on my floor, everythjng is good on that floor and it would’ve just made me so much worse. So they take me upstairs, I’m sedated, I’m calm, and I’m napping finally. The rest of the entire day I slept. Slept all day cause of that. Now if i walk to the bathroom I have to have oxygen as soon as i’m back in bed. It is horrible and I am genuinely scared for todays treatment. I have to do two days in a row now since I didn’t get to

do yesterday.  So please pray for calmness, no pulmonary issues, and the treatment to just go back like a breeze. Yesterday was one of the scariest things i’ve ever had to go through. But I’m here, I’m alive, and I’m moving on to the next step. But ONLY cause  I have God with me. I don’t know how people in life get through this without knowing God. We praise him every day, and also not enough at all. Thank you Lord for keeping me alive through that horrible experience. Thank you for my family who jumps when I call them screaming in pain to get here right now and they do. Thank you Lord for giving me so many chances at life and for being with me through every single step of everyone one I’ve gone through.