Alright everyone, I know it’s been way too long since an update, and to be honest it’s because I’ve been having a really hard past 10 days and just haven’t really known what to say without it just being 100% depressing. I managed to make it through Thanksgiving and have some amazing food, see family, and get out! So that was a good day but I did a bit too much that day and the next morning was just absolutely miserable and in pain. I couldn’t even barely get up to just go to the bathroom. From then on I just got continuously worse. I have veen vomiting about every 3-6 hours from pain, sleeping when I can *IF* I can, just all around not fun.

During the Thanksgiving weekend I had gotten my Allosure test done the Friday prior, so ALL weekend I wasn’t even like relaxed or just trying to enjoy my little time I wouldn’t be throwing up or sleeping cause I was just waiting waiting waitng for this Allosure to come back and it be Monday already! Well- Monday comes around, I wait until about 10 and leave my message for the nurse saying I’m waitng for my Allosure test and to call as soon as she can. She calls back to inform me that my Allosure test didn’t work due to my blood being hemolyzed which means the blood either clotted or broke apart and it was unusable. I just sat on the phone with tears running down my face. I had waited 10 days for this test result just for it to be unusable> I was just heartbroken, tired, in pain, and just of all things… So I go in that next day and have all the bloodwork taken again. So 5 more days we wait with me in pain, throwing up, not sleeping, just all around a horrible week yet again.

So in the meantime I go to my other doctor and tell him how miserable I am, how much pain I’m in and that I just can’t live like this anymore. So most of my pain is in my kidney which is my right lower/mid abdomen and it wraps all the way around into the right side of my back and all the way up into my shoulder. My kidney never hurts unless something is wrong with it, that’s how it’s always been and I just know it. So we went and got a CT scan of my abdomen and chest just to see what’s going on since my pain is there and I am also so short of breath, have fevers, and coughing up blood often. So we get that done on Tuesday and wait until Wednesday for the results.

The results come back and it says kidney is inflamed and to seek medical attention with my doctor (duh) so I was like woo! Maybe I can finally get some help!! So I call my Transplant coordinator and let her know what the CT said and she tells me to come in the next morning to go over it with my doctor (Thursday).

 So here comes Thursday, I packed my bags just incase I were to be admitted since I am having all these awful symptoms and that’s honestly just what I do just in case cause I like to be prepared. So we get there, I give my urine, Blood, all the good stuff they need for testing. The doctor comes in and we talk, I’m in pain, had just went into the bathroom to throw up prior to him walking in to see me. He goes over my test results that have come back like the basic stuff and then we go over my DSA which is “Donor Specific Antibodies” Which tells us, let’s say if the Donors number is “13” and mine is above that it indicates that I am rejecting the kidney. So if it comes back “Positive” that’s bad. It’s never come back positive so I was like okay yeah that’s nothing to worry about. My rejection back in October that I’ve been working through was called “Mediated Antibody Rejection” And rejection due to the meds I was on they just weren’t staying in my body and filtering out too quickly. My DSA came back positive this time, for the first time ever which means I’m in a NEW rejection. My doctors are very nervous to put me back on the plasmapheresis again because of the embolism I had and all the other issues it put my body throught. I also have blood in my urine, my other kidney numbers are very very slowy creeping up, and my kidney is very swollen and angry. On top of all that my pain, my pain is just through the roof, I am depressed, and I just want help. I want them to at least give me a plan rather than letting me sit here, waiting for my kidney to crash so that then they can rush me into the hospital instead of just putting me in and catching it now. I know God knows what they’re doing and what my next step is but man, I am just getting really tired and very down. 

SO, after all that lovely news, my Allosure came back and its about 2 points lower than what it was in October which means yay, I don’t have *THAT* rejection, just a whole other new one to deal with. 

So when you’re bored in bed, in the car, in the grocery store, anywhere I just pop into your mind and you get a chance please pray for me, I’m honestly not doing well, I need help I wanna go through the Christmas season not asleep 20 hours out of the day crying in pain, vomiting, and waiting for my next pain attack. I will try to keep y’all updated a little bit sooner this next time and I appreciate every single prayer that y’all pray for me daily. Just know if I’m not posting I’m just not strong enough or doing well enough to get to my computer, phone, and even just to answer a text. Thank y’all again for staying so invested in me and praying for me all that you can, It means so much to me. 

Enjoy your December and look at Christmas lights and sing some Christmas music.

Thanks, y’all.