I, Angel’s mom, had a sleepless night the night before, concerned with what tomorrow would bring.  I tricked myself into believing it was a simple rash and the doctor would prescribe cream for it or something.  It was easier than reliving a trauma we had lived only 8 months ago with the passing of my Tia because of leukemia.

1 year ago… exactly one year ago was when Angel was first admitted.  It feels so long ago yet it feels like it was just yesterday.  I took her to a pediatrician to try to find out why she was bruising easily and getting small red dots all over her body after noticing no change and maybe it getting worse for about 2 weeks.  Their office was empty, and we had to check in online in my car since COVID-19 was in full swing.  We even saw the doctor through video at first, until we described what was going on, he asked us to come into the clinic. While in the doctor’s office, those scary thoughts would try to creep back into my mind, but I knew I had to be strong for Angel.  There was no way I’d let her see my concern. 

After the pediatrician evaluated her, he also poked her middle finger to check her blood.  We waited no more than 15 minutes or so… when he walked back into the room, he let us know Angel’s blood counts were abnormal and we’d have to go to the Phoenix Children’s Hospital immediately. 

Just like that, our days of going in and out of the hospital began.  I would have never guessed this could happen.  Overall, our immediate families have been healthy.  We were normal… we still are, except, we’re not.  We still have to be extra cautious with Angel.  She will continue to be considered immunocompromised until she’s basically off her medicines.  There are still some concerning “what if’s”.  For example, what if Angel’s cells attack her donor cells (or vice versa)?  Which is what they call Graft vs. Host Disease.  Or what if other side effects occur because of the treatment she had to undergo with chemo, radiation, etc?  She is still at risk of getting infections, more than a normal person could be at risk for.

These last 12 months have been a non-stop rollercoaster and time continues to be.  We are sad/scared, yet happy!  Angel has been so strong through everything.