We are 19 days from transplant and $13,000 from our goal. Two things consume my
life right now–Arabella’s kidney transplant and AJ’s college application. I didn’t expect the two to collide in my head, but here’s why they have. To partner with COTA, we were required to have a fundraising team. Parents aren’t allowed or expected to fundraise as their focus is to be on their child. Two dear friends volunteered to hold the official fundraising roles and countless others of you have responded in ways that we will never be able to fully thank. Tonight, I want to call someone out who has had no official campaign role, but has worked tirelessly. It’s a dangerous thing to single out one person on the subject of money–this individual probably hasn’t given the biggest monetary gift or even been the only one to ask people to give to COTA for Arabella, but,
it’s that college connection that has me thinking.

Years ago, I went to a small liberal arts college in Hanover, Indiana. Depending on your political tendencies, Hanover College is best known for producing Vice President Mike Pence and Hollywood actor Woody Harrelson. In my mind, Hanover is synonymous with Dr. Barbara Oney Garvey. Dr. Garvey was first a feared and then loved professor–a mentor in and out of the classroom. I’m a strong believer in a liberal arts education and my time at Hanover, under        Dr. Garvey and others, was formative. I didn’t leave college with a set plan for my life (and, frankly, that wouldn’t matter right now even if I did), but I left knowing ideas and ideals and how to translate them into action. Tonight at home, AJ is submitting his college application to several schools; Hanover is one of them. The common thread of his choices–liberal arts. He doesn’t need to know what he’ll “be” when he’s 50 years old, but I will appreciate 4 more years of education now teaching him to reflect on who he is and who he wants to become.

Dr. Garvey first learned about Arabella last fall when I returned to campus to hear Brandon Stanton, of Humans of New York, speak. I told her that I would love to make a connection with Stanton for kidney kids. In typical fashion, Dr. Garvey quickly arranged for Arabella and me to have front row seats to the event (next to the college president and his family) and personal time talking with the famous HONY mastermind. Fast forward to our COTA campaign and Dr. Garvey was an early supporter. Unbeknownst to me, she was also developing a grass-roots campaign to solicit donations from every connection she could imagine. She put out a challenge to Hanover alums, to Communication majors and professors, to college administrators, to Phi Mus, and then she started working on the same groups at Transylvania University, her undergraduate alma mater, and beyond. Dr. Garvey has stressed that it’s not only the large gift, it’s all the gifts working together that will help us reach our goal. We will never know the amount of anyone’s gift–and we’ll never know how much Dr. Garvey’s efforts have added to the total of this campaign. All gift amounts are completely confidential and, if you give anonymously, we are never even told that you’ve given. But we will remember that our supporters have grown as she has provided the challenge.

Dr. Garvey clearly had more lessons in mind for me as we face this battle. Ever the teacher, she reminded me of the power of connection. Of belonging. Of the importance of a time in a small town in Indiana where I laughed, cried, lived and loved. She reminded me that 31 years after I’ve left her classroom, she still knows who I am. That communication is an art, not a science, but if done well, it can touch our souls. That “Love In Our Bond” means more than just a college sorority motto. That together, collectively, we can change things–big and small. We can do good for others and live in harmony with each other, no matter our similarities or differences.

I don’t know where AJ will spend his next 4 years, but I hope he finds a Dr. Garvey. Someone who will make him work hard, but will also remind him that the man he is becoming can do great things, one small gesture at a time. It’s a lesson we all need to remember. So, thank you, Dr. Garvey–and thank you to all our friends and family who have walked with us so far. We only have a few more steps and then we’ve made it through the valley. (And I have a feeling that since I’ve mentioned Mike Pence and Woody Harrelson as Hanover alums, they should probably expect to hear from Dr. Garvey next.)