Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions. This time feels different… heavier. Maybe because I love him even more now—if that’s even possible. My heart already felt like it could burst before, but now it’s just aching. I miss him. I miss his voice. I even miss his attitude. I would give anything for a hug… or one of his famous cuddles.

Yesterday, they had to take Eric back into the OR to put him on ECMO—Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation—a machine that temporarily supports his heart and lungs. His blood pressure kept crashing, and every time they tried to wean him off the meds (to protect his heart), something else would go wrong. It was like a delicate domino effect.

When he finally returned, they struggled to control the bleeding. He went in around 4pm, and we didn’t see him until almost 8pm. Now, we’re just waiting. Watching. Hoping. He looks like a science experiment with all the tubes and machines, but we remind ourselves—the machine is doing the work so he doesn’t have to fight right now. That brings comfort.

Janelle is having a hard time too. Last night, she had both of us home, just for a little while. She hugged us tightly and said, “I love you mommy, and I love you daddy.” She squeezed us like she didn’t want to let go. And honestly, neither did we.

We know we can’t be in two places at once, but we’re doing our best. We’re holding on to faith and love and taking things one day at a time. I hope Eric never remembers any of this. I hope Janelle grows up knowing that everything we’re doing—every moment away—is for him. For us.

Please keep praying, sending love, and holding us in your thoughts. We feel it. We truly do.