Hi my name is Katherine Gardner, but you can call me Kathy. In  2015 my world turned upside down, my kidneys failed from a congenital problem called medullary sponge kidney. I always knew I would be on dialysis one day. But one day came sooner than I was ready for. As I started my treatment, the first thing I learned was that people want to blame you for your sickness. What did you do to make this happen? Most people would ask if it was my diabetes or hypertension. Though I suffer from one of these common chronic conditions, neither of these played a part in my kidneys failing, I was born with malfunctioning kidneys.. A live donor is needed for the best outcome. I learned that a live donor is more likely to provide a kidney that will function well and work twice as long as a deceased donor. Asking for someone to donate their kidney to me is extremely difficult. The transplant surgeon suggested I might try handing out business cards. The thought of this made me laugh. Can you picture what this card would look like? Hi I’m Katherine on the front and Do you have an extra kidney to spare? on the back. He also suggested I try writing a blog – so here I go…

Let me start by telling you a little bit about myself. I am a 59 year old widow who is learning the world of medicine from the other side of the bed. Before getting sick I was a nurse for 34 years. I worked in ICU/CCU for 7 years before deciding that this wasn’t my true calling. For the next 27 years I was a hospice nurse. People asked over and over again how I could do such depressing work. They didn’t know what I did. I watched people live lives unrestrained by what others and society thought of them. There was a freedom that the healthy person with expectations for the future isn’t allowed. Thru my work I taught families what to expect in the last phase of life so they were not afraid of death. I listened closely to each patient so that I understood what their personal needs were. I managed their symptoms so that they were as pain free as possible. I referred to myself as The Queen of Pain and Poop. It made the patients laugh and helped put them at ease. I explained to the people who asked me “How can you do Hospice nursing”, that each patient gave more to me than I ever gave them. They shared stories about their life and loves. They shared stuff they couldn’t tell the rest of the world. I saw the true person, not the facade we show most everyone else. They no longer had time to pretend. I loved each one. I learned how to be a professional while in their home and how to cry in my car if I needed to. I taught my kids how to drive me to a deathbed in the middle of the night. Being  a hospice nurse in an area that spanned 9000 square miles while living in Texas , I needed help so I taught them about how important my work was. It was a family endeavor taking care of them all.

In 2017 my world turned upside down again. I awoke on May 29, 2017, to find my beloved husband of 35 years was dead.