From Lexi ❤️
February is Heart Month ❤️
Most people know that it’s actually my favorite month… because I get to advocate & share so much about Congenital Heart Defects/HLHS. Yet, this year it’s a little different. I barely have the energy to advocate and continually repeat myself.
This season itself is different. It’s trying to manage a 2 year old and a newborn while your mind is constantly wondering if your 5 year old is fluid overload because everytime you leave the hospital something changes. It’s wanting to be with your husband doting over your newborn baby but having to divide and conquer. Its volleyball games 3 days postpartum because you have enough mom guilt and all you ever dreamed of was being present for your children. It’s randomly sobbing when memories of your child, or even just your family being together cross your mind. It’s living in complete exhaustion but unable to rest because you have to keep yourself distracted. It’s simple being misunderstood when trying to explain your thoughts or how you feel your 5 year old is coping or lack of coping. It’s becoming frustrated because he is a child and where myself as an adult am barely coping I can’t expect him to fully understand his circumstances. It’s everyone offering to help but unable to fully comprehend how easily you’ll become impatient or frustrated when placed in our position. It’s the multiple missed called and unread text messages that your have fully maxed out mentally you can’t even fathom having another conversation.
It’s praying for a heart knowing what that entails for another family.. knowing the bravery it takes to make such a selfless decision. It’s no longer asking for extravagant valentines or birthday presents because your only prayer is for your child to be whole happy and healthy.
But It’s also finding simply joys in your day or being able to bless a family with car troubles because you have been blessed. It’s seeing the strength and resilience of your 5 year old and knowing if he can be brave through all of this so can I. It’s knowing there is purpose in your pain. ❤️💙
This season is hard but… It’s just a season. It’s not forever.
