Messy. That’s the word that keeps coming to mind lately.
We got to celebrate Sabrina’s first birthday with her grandparents and her brother — but this milestone has held a lot of mixed emotions for us.
We are celebrating — so deeply grateful to be home, grateful she got to do what so many one-year-olds do: absolutely demolish a smash cake.
And at the same time… milestones like this can make the grief feel so jagged. There is still a sharp mourning for what we once imagined this season of life would look like — and for the quiet sense of safety we used to carry, before we learned how little of this is actually in our control.
Behind this sweet, messy moment has also been a really hard stretch. RSV hit Sabrina harder than most kids because of her heart, and recovery has been slow and unpredictable. There’s been more vomiting, more NG tube battles, and more emotionally exhausting days than we’ve shared publicly.
If I’ve been quiet or slow to respond, please know it’s only because Sabrina has needed so much of us lately.
The hopeful part — the part we’re holding tightly to — is that we are starting to see our girl shine through again. 
More smiles. More laughs. More of that bright little personality we love so much.
We are keeping on. Please keep rooting for us. 
