All things considered, Frank and I have built a beautiful life together. We stood by each other while we each started our careers. Frank got his CPA license, a massive feat. I got my master’s degree while having a toddler and newborn. We bought a farm. We traveled. We have managed to still like each other through all of it. But the thing that we are best at is being partners in parenting. 

Having children is not easy on a marriage. Two people have to take the differences in how they were raised and mesh those differences together to create a cohesive home for their children. Frank and I have done that for our babies. We rely on each other implicitly. We are a force to be reckoned with. 

The day that we were told that our daughter had no chance of survival was the darkest day of our lives. There are no words to describe the pain that we felt individually and as a couple. I remember driving home from San Francisco the next day and thinking to myself that this kind of experience is what ends marriages. How were the two of us going to survive this kind of tragedy?

The only thing that I can say is that our faith, in God and each other, was the only thing that kept us going. Frank was my rock during countless doctor’s appointments that were never positive. He stood by me while I was struggling with my mental and physical health, trying to keep myself as healthy as I could be for Lily. 

I will never forget the doctor in San Francisco who told us that our best option would be to terminate our baby, looking at us in wonder when we returned for a follow up appointment weeks later. She said that Frank and I were a formidable team who advocated for our daughter and also each other. I have held that close to my heart. We are a formidable team. 

Once Lily was born, we had to live our lives separately. Frank held down the fort with Theo and Catherine. I was in charge of Lily. We came up with a system to make sure that he still got to see Lily and I still got to see Theo and Catherine. We also tried to prioritize our marriage through it all. 

This has been our “for worse” year. The things that we have gone through are unimaginable. And yet our marriage is stronger than ever. I wish I could say that it was always fun and carefree but the truth is that we have lived in the depths of despair this past year. But we are still here. The one consistency has been each other. I am proud of Frank and I and the marriage we have built. Cheers to the better years that will stand on the foundation of our worst year.