This week my kidney function hit a new low of 11%. I have started having trouble breathing, stairs are my enemy and I feel like I could sleep for months and haven’t slept in months all at the same time. 

It’s time to start the dreaded “D word” but my veins are too small for the standard fistula. After the new year they are going to try a graft on my left arm which needs 8 weeks to heal before I can use it for home hemo dialysis access. Which means I’ll likely need a temporary catheter in my neck for dialysis in the interim.

Uhg.

I miss horseback riding with Ellie. I miss taking River on long walks. I miss exploring outside with the kids. I miss getting to experience and enjoy my life.

And I can’t wait to feel like myself again.